The attempt to ever make a big change in my life always comes out with little difference due to a lack of motivation and giving up a week in. Even now, for as young as I am, I can see a small glimpse at the challenges I have yet to encounter in adulthood and the pressure to make sure my path is as easy to walk on as possible creates an even bigger stressor.
My goal with this blog is to help keep myself on track and have motivation to continue down a road that can change me for the better. I find myself falling deeper into a black hole I am afraid I won't be able to escape. I watch myself become disconnected from my family, Christ, my own personal needs and my spirit. I am a firm believer in fate and destiny. We were all meant to do something, however we must find it within ourselves to fully understand and be able to utilize our own special abilities. I have been lucky enough to establish just a small connection with myself and know what my own spiritual and personal needs are, however, I am far from finding peace with myself or others. My body represents the mess inside my head and all over I feel covered in the anxiety and stress as I wait for my future.
I want to cleanse myself of the worries and stressors I encounter daily through clean eating to help my connection to the Earth, focusing on my own social capabilities to grow into my own family again, exercise to rid my body of the burden of being slow and weak, and trying to heal from the wounds of the past.
As a soon-to-be adult, I have already accomplished small feats in sports such as Olympic weight lifting and shot put, gained academic achievements and the ability to travel for the first time, but I have still felt empty. My goal is to live through a happy moment every single day through this blog. I want to experience every day instead of looking forward to the next. I want to teach myself a new way to look at the world. I want to see a new, brighter, happier me and show others it CAN be done!
